|The pros say this is NOT a good "selfie"|
I don't have
Don't get me wrong, I like taking self-shots and I DO take a lot of them, but most of them aren't appropriate for public consumption.
However, the other day I was trolling around JWoww's blog.
Yes, THAT JWoww.
Yes, I troll her blog.
Anyway, I noticed a post entitled, "JWoww's Guide to Taking Selfies," which features a highly informative video on the subject, made by her and Snooki. In the video, JWoww notes that "taking pictures of yourself for the Internet is an art" and I suddenly realized that I have been doing it all wrong.
So, since I love whoring myself out, I decided to take a lesson from a pair of true professionals in the field.
The girls broke it down into four easy steps:
1. Reach, Angle, Duckface (R.A.D.)
According to Snooki, you stretch your arm out as far as possible at a 45-degree angle above your head, make a duckface, and voila!
|Oh baby, I'm a STAHHH!|
2. Eyes Closed, Hands Out (E.C.H.O.)
According to Snooki, this is the "oh-I-look-perfect-while-I-sleep-NBD" pose. Make sure your eyes are closed and create a soft, peaceful expression.
|No big deal, y'all.|
3. Close-Up Besties Shot (C.U.B.S.)
"Grab your BFF and let the shorter one stand in front," Snooki says. "Werk that 45-degree angle, and watch the magic happen."
Yes, she said "werk."
|Oh. Oh. Oh. It's magic!|
4. Convincingly "Accidental" Boob Shot (C.A.B.S.)
JWoww says that "this selfie helps us show off some of our best assets in an 'accidentally' sex-say way" and reminds us not to forget the duckface!
|This just SCREAMS "accidentally sex-say," no?|
Okay, maybe I need more practice...
I failed on the duckface, but I should totally get extra points for nipple... and for incorporating a little cheese.