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| The pros say this is NOT a good "selfie" |
I don't have
Don't get me wrong, I like taking self-shots and I DO take a lot of them, but most of them aren't appropriate for public consumption.
However, the other day I was trolling around JWoww's blog.
Yes, THAT JWoww.
Yes, I troll her blog.
Anyway, I noticed a post entitled, "JWoww's Guide to Taking Selfies," which features a highly informative video on the subject, made by her and Snooki. In the video, JWoww notes that "taking pictures of yourself for the Internet is an art" and I suddenly realized that I have been doing it all wrong.
All. Wrong.
So, since I love whoring myself out, I decided to take a lesson from a pair of true professionals in the field.
The girls broke it down into four easy steps:
1. Reach, Angle, Duckface (R.A.D.)
According to Snooki, you stretch your arm out as far as possible at a 45-degree angle above your head, make a duckface, and voila!
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| Oh baby, I'm a STAHHH! |
2. Eyes Closed, Hands Out (E.C.H.O.)
According to Snooki, this is the "oh-I-look-perfect-while-I-sleep-NBD" pose. Make sure your eyes are closed and create a soft, peaceful expression.
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| No big deal, y'all. |
3. Close-Up Besties Shot (C.U.B.S.)
"Grab your BFF and let the shorter one stand in front," Snooki says. "Werk that 45-degree angle, and watch the magic happen."
Yes, she said "werk."
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| Oh. Oh. Oh. It's magic! |
4. Convincingly "Accidental" Boob Shot (C.A.B.S.)
JWoww says that "this selfie helps us show off some of our best assets in an 'accidentally' sex-say way" and reminds us not to forget the duckface!
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| This just SCREAMS "accidentally sex-say," no? |
Okay, maybe I need more practice...
I failed on the duckface, but I should totally get extra points for nipple... and for incorporating a little cheese.
11 comments:
your bff is HOT!
I commend you on your attempt at self improvement. So many people don't bother learning how to take the perfect selfie. I especially appreciated the added gratuitous nudity.
That last one just screams alright...
Wowza! That little cheese is HOT!! And while your duck lips need a bit of work I think you've got that 45 degree angle rocking for you!
You may have forgotten the full-body-picture-in-the-mirror shot that's irresistible to tweens and emotionally stunted adults. And I thank you for forgetting that.
They actually recommned a duck face?? I thought that was out now. But I guess big hair and too much make up has been out for a long time, now, too, but they don't let that stop them.
You should be careful with the accidental boob shots, though...don't want to get your readers too worked up!
I spent an hour last week trying to follow the how to take the perfect GPOY! Followed all the rules...have no idea who the person in the photos was...definitely wasn't me!
Nice accidental boob shot.
I love this. I have a couple posts like this about fakebook. Very clever monkey. How'd you do it with those hands?
I've been doing it all wrong. I've been doing the goose face.
You NAILED it! I have to say, your duckface looks better than at least 98% of the ones I've seen.
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