The Internet is Trying to Trick You!

Like if you remember these guys! Um... yeah. No, thanks!

Have you ever seen those Facebook posts that feature a photo of some iconic toy, a screenshot from classic television show, or a picture of an 80s band that had, like, one or two hit singles, urging you to ‘like’ the photo “...if you played with a slinky as a kid,” “...if you remember Sanford and Son,” or “...if you ever sang along to ‘Everybody Have Fun Tonight’ by Wang Chung”?

Yeah, I’ve seen them too and I almost NEVER click the “like” button.

Wanna know why?

It's bullshit.

99.9 percent of the time, the post is associated with some company that has NOTHING to do with the subject matter of the photo... like a plumbing supply store, or a bakery that’s 2,000 miles away from where you live. Yet, as fool after fool blindly presses the “like” button, because they “remember the 1970s”, a picture of a dude in tight bell-bottoms, posted by Stan Kowalski Electric in Kalamazoo Michigan, appears in MY FUCKING NEWS FEED!

Annoying, yes... but it is also GENIUS!

I mean, let’s face it, there are only a small percentage of Facebook users who understand that these photo posts are nothing more than a ploy, often by social media marketers, to garner more likes for their client’s Facebook page. The rest of Facebook, particularly the users who feverishly click the “like” button so all of their friends can giggle about once wearing bell bottoms, are just the sheep of the Internet.

I guess there is no harm in it and the only people who suffer are the businesses themselves because the truth is, “likes” mean nothing if they don’t convert to sales. That’s social media marketing 101. 

I refuse to participate, however, because, contrary to popular belief, I am NOT that easy.

And then, there is this:
 

 
It only took these kids seven hours to go viral and get a million “likes”.

Seriously?

Now, every kid on Facebook is doing it, which has led me to recognize that the best way for me to whore myself out garner the attention that I crave get the recognition that I deserve, is to create a viral photo of my own.
 

Start clicking, y'all!

Every “like” will mean increased exposure for both the Six Fingered Monkey Facebook Page and, hopefully, my blog. If I reach a million “likes” I get to fulfill a sexual fantasy.*

It is a win/win for everyone involved.

Yes. I am awesome.

*Disclaimer: While The Girlfriend has NOT agreed to a threesome, regardless of how many “likes” I get, I believe that when presented with one million “likes” from people who support me on my quest, I will at least be able to make a good case.