If you think Nickelback sucks, get a load of these guys!

So, I submitted this piece to Sprocket Ink, earlier this week. I suspect they rejected it, although no one ever responded to my submission email. Rather than let such a fine piece of journalism go to waste, I decided I would print it here... on my blog... because I can. Enjoy!

If You Think Nickelback Sucks, Get a Load of These Guys

Look at this photograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh!

Apologies to all (three) of the die-hard Nickelback fans out there but, let’s face it, your favorite band sucks! You can take solace in a new poll, however, that found another group of washed-up old geezers that are more hated than your beloved Canadian rockers... 

The United States Congress.

A new poll conducted by the folks over at Public Policy Polling, shows that Americans would rather listen to Nickelback than deal with more bullshit from their lawmakers up on Capitol Hill. I suppose that’s not terribly shocking when you look at in the “lesser of two evils” context but, while being less popular than Nickelback is definitely shameful in it own right, this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Congress’s plummeting approval rating.


It seems that, at this point, most American’s would rather deal with head lice, colonoscopies, traffic jams, NFL replacement referees and cockroaches, than with the elected officials that make up the US House of Representatives and US Senate. 
 
Hell, even France got a better approval rating from Americans than Congress did.
 
Yes, you read that right... France.
 
That’s harsh, isn’t it?
 
I suspect that this new congressional hatred is fueled by the emotional scars that we, as a nation, are still nursing after being dangled over that so-called “fiscal cliff” throughout our entire holiday season and, with a resurrected gun-control debate now in the national spotlight and clear foot-dragging on the issue of Hurricane Sandy relief, Congress’s continued tightrope walk is going to be precarious at best.
 
On its website, Public Policy Polling said, “Our newest national poll finds that Congress only has a 9% favorability rating with 85% of voters viewing it in a negative light.”
In the end, though, things could still be a lot worse for the U.S. Congress.
 
The poll found that congressional representatives still hold a more favorable place in the hearts and minds of most Americans than Lindsey Lohan and the Kardashians. However, Congress won those fights by the skin of its proverbial teeth.
 
Gonorrhea, on the other hand, took the “more hated” prize with a much wider margin.
 
Of course, to put this all into perspective, it is important to note that Public Policy Polling is often referred to as a “Democrat-leaning” group. Based in Raleigh, N.C., the firm says that it surveyed 830 registered voters last week for the purpose of this most recent poll, using automated telephone interviews. The margin of error, according to company officials, was plus or minus 3.4 percentage points.
 
It is also important to mention that both the Lohan and the Kardashian families are kind of like the gonorrhea of current popular culture.
 
So, technically, Congress is just a few percentage points away from a horrible disease.