Don’t you just hate it when people brag about their kids on the Internets?
I know I do, but I come from the “do as I say, not as I do” school.
While I don’t really care to look at pictures of your allegedly cute kids on Facebook or listen to stories about how your kid made the honor roll, I have no problem sharing mine.
I’m kidding, I genuinely care that your kid is the most awesome in the world, even if you are lying and I KNOW you are lying because MY kids are the most awesome kids in the world.
Okay, now I’M lying.
My kids, though generally good, are often a royal pain in the ass... though I think that’s just a side-effect of their brilliance.
I always used to joke that while Lu-Dog would likely grow up to become a scientist, his little brother would become the star football player or rock star. Based on personality alone, this may still be the case, but it is becoming more likely that Lu-Dog and D-Man will be giving joint TED Talks and vying for a Mensa top spot.
You see, I recently received the results of some tests done through D-Man’s Pre-K program. They screened him for verbal comprehension, cognitive skills and other performance standards. In every category, D-Man was listed as being “above-average”, which is awesome... but the icing on the cake?
Drum roll, please?
Mother-fucking boo-yah, y’all!
Now, I have always known that Lu-Dog was gifted and his early tests simply confirmed my belief. You only need to spend five minutes with the kid to recognize that he is special (translation: weird).
I’m kidding. Lu-Dog is an amazing kid who is destined for greatness and his quirks only serve to shed light on his higher intelligence.
D-Man, on the other hand? He is ALL five-year-old boy and, frankly, this news came as a bit of a surprise. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the kid is smart... but, gifted?
I guess I never really thought about it and, in true Six-Fingered Monkey fashion, I have already found a way to turn this around and make it about myself...
You can thank ME for the high IQs.
Good genes and strong sperm, baby.
Unfortunately, as my office mate noted, a high IQ is no guarantee of greatness and many gifted individuals end up failing miserably.
So, now that I know the potential is there, I just need to steer these boys in the right direction...
Still, this is certainly a proud day for daddy.