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| I look very Canadian, eh? |
WHY the FUCK are you going to Canada, Six?
I know, I know...
I have been asking myself that very same question for the last couple of months.
The simple answer is, for Thanksgiving.
Wait? Canadian Thanksgiving?
No. That was LAST month. I’m going to Canada for American Thanksgiving...
...
I know. I'm confused too.
Okay, the not-so-simple answer is, because if I didn’t agree to go? The Girlfriend would beat me senseless... which, I MAY like... but that’s neither here nor there.
You see, The Girlfriend’s family owns a house in Waterloo, Quebec, and she has been trying to get me to go up there ever since
Here’s the thing about getting The Six-Fingered Monkey to go ANYWHERE, let alone anywhere outside of the country...
It doesn’t happen.
I don’t like to travel, at least not anywhere that requires taking an airplane or an extended car ride. I like being in my comfort zone and if my comfort zone needs to be extended outside of my town or state, it most certainly doesn’t extend outside of the borders of this great country where I live.
Hell, it took me 38 years to finally move out of my hometown to a neighboring town just 20 miles away.
Baby steps.
I wasn’t getting out of this one, although I wanted to, especially with the added factor that the family home in Waterloo has no cable or Internet access.
Seriously?
Yet, as our big trip approaches, I am really looking forward to it.
With everything that has been going on lately, I think that the trip is exactly what I need and I know that it is going to be a wonderful and exciting experience for the boys.
So, I’m going to make the best of it.
I even put together a little bucket list of things to do while in Canada.
- See a Moose.
- Go to the only tavern in Waterloo (according to The Girlfriend, there is one) and play as much Celine Dion, Bryan Adams and Alanis Morrisette as possible on the jukebox, while attempting to order beers in French.
- See how many times I can pronounce the word, “about,” in my best Canadian English, before pissing someone off.
- Try and get at least ONE of my Canadian fans to show up in Waterloo, track me down, and ask me for an autograph.
- Relax and enjoy the experience.
I mean, I have a LOT of Canadian fans, according to Sitemeter.
It is possible.
Happy Turkey Day y’all, and watch out Canada... here I come!
9 comments:
Sweet touque!
I'll let the others know you're coming. :)
@Ken: Please do... and try to meet me in Waterloo! ;)
If it wasn't 2000 miles away, I'd be there, and be buying you Canadian beer. (It's probably a bit stronger than you're used to, take care.)
@Ken: Jeez, Canada is big, huh? LOL Next time...
You know, with your luck you're going to get stuck up there and detained by Mounties.
C'mon man, Canada is awesome! The people are super friendly...even if you have partially melty face. Sorry about that.
Also, add to that list "free reach around from famous Canadian architect, Frank Gehry." He is obligated by law to give all visitors who ask for it and can catch him with a net a no-holds-barred free reach around. It's Canadian law.
@Pickalope: My God dude, I fucking LOVE you.
Border patrol may, or may not, actually look into your car to make sure you're not lying about the amount of alcohol you bring across the border, since alcohol of any kind is seriously expensive up there. I suspect that your suspicious looking face and propensity to blurt out inappropriate jokes will be offset by the cute children and innocent-looking Girlfriend. The idiots at Border decided not to search my mother and she got in w a 3L box of wine and a big jug of gin for her host, by lying. Despite me telling her not to lie, that I wouldn't bail her ass out.
@Lilly: The Girlfriend is FAR from innocent looking. Just saying.
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