Updated for purely selfish reasons:
Okay peeps, here's the deal: I am participating in the Dude Write Starting Lineup this week where you can find some excellent posts by bloggers who happen to be dudes. Since this is its inaugural launch, I get to pull something from the archives for submission and, of course, I chose this little gem.
Duh. Dudes? Pussy? Its like peanut butter and chocolate, no? Anywho, go over there and do whatever it is they tell you to do and I know y'all loved this post so read it again and then send it to your mom, because I heard she loves pussy too!
Without further ado... my submission:
***
New Pussy
They say the grass is always greener on the other side and I can tell you from experience that when you get over the fence, you often realize that the grass isn’t as green as it looked from a distance. Sometimes, there’s dog shit all over the lawn.
Regardless, I havn’t been able to stop thinking about how much I want a new pussy.
Wait. What?
Oh come on, isn’t it human nature to want to switch things up a bit?
The old me would have just gone out and taken what I wanted with blatant disregard for everyone around me, but I’m a changed man damn it and I’m NOT going to do anything that will jeopardize the peaceful home that The Girlfriend and I have created.
So, I went to The Girlfriend last month and I came clean.
At first she was a little apprehensive. New pussy could upset the balance of our relationship and ultimately trickle down and negatively effect the entire family dynamic... but The Girlfriend loves pussies as much as I do and it only took a little prodding to get her to come around. In fact, we decided that introducing a new pussy into the mix should coincide with The Girlfriend’s birthday.
Nothing says happy birthday like the gift of a new pussy!
Unfortunately, The Girlfriend’s birthday came and went and, like most other fantasies, the new pussy idea sort of faded. That was until The Girlfriend called me from a local street fair last weekend to announce that she had found the perfect candidate.
Now it was ME that was apprehensive. I mean, I recognize that the idea of bringing in new pussy was an unofficial birthday gift for The Girlfriend but, technically? We were SHARING new pussy. I mean, I should have a say in it too, no?
It was too late.
The new pussy would be available later in the week.
I was nervous.
I was excited.
I couldn’t stop talking about it, nor could The Girlfriend, and when new pussy finally arrived?
Well lets just say it was the sweetest, warmest and fuzziest pussy I have ever had and, although the old pussy is less than thrilled, I’ve been careful to give equal attention to both of them.
Most of all, though, The Girlfriend is happy... my boys are happy... and I’m in LOVE with my new pussy!
Okay peeps, here's the deal: I am participating in the Dude Write Starting Lineup this week where you can find some excellent posts by bloggers who happen to be dudes. Since this is its inaugural launch, I get to pull something from the archives for submission and, of course, I chose this little gem.
Duh. Dudes? Pussy? Its like peanut butter and chocolate, no? Anywho, go over there and do whatever it is they tell you to do and I know y'all loved this post so read it again and then send it to your mom, because I heard she loves pussy too!
Without further ado... my submission:
***
New Pussy
They say the grass is always greener on the other side and I can tell you from experience that when you get over the fence, you often realize that the grass isn’t as green as it looked from a distance. Sometimes, there’s dog shit all over the lawn.
Regardless, I havn’t been able to stop thinking about how much I want a new pussy.
Wait. What?
Oh come on, isn’t it human nature to want to switch things up a bit?
The old me would have just gone out and taken what I wanted with blatant disregard for everyone around me, but I’m a changed man damn it and I’m NOT going to do anything that will jeopardize the peaceful home that The Girlfriend and I have created.
So, I went to The Girlfriend last month and I came clean.
At first she was a little apprehensive. New pussy could upset the balance of our relationship and ultimately trickle down and negatively effect the entire family dynamic... but The Girlfriend loves pussies as much as I do and it only took a little prodding to get her to come around. In fact, we decided that introducing a new pussy into the mix should coincide with The Girlfriend’s birthday.
Nothing says happy birthday like the gift of a new pussy!
Unfortunately, The Girlfriend’s birthday came and went and, like most other fantasies, the new pussy idea sort of faded. That was until The Girlfriend called me from a local street fair last weekend to announce that she had found the perfect candidate.
Now it was ME that was apprehensive. I mean, I recognize that the idea of bringing in new pussy was an unofficial birthday gift for The Girlfriend but, technically? We were SHARING new pussy. I mean, I should have a say in it too, no?
It was too late.
The new pussy would be available later in the week.
I was nervous.
I was excited.
I couldn’t stop talking about it, nor could The Girlfriend, and when new pussy finally arrived?
Well lets just say it was the sweetest, warmest and fuzziest pussy I have ever had and, although the old pussy is less than thrilled, I’ve been careful to give equal attention to both of them.
Most of all, though, The Girlfriend is happy... my boys are happy... and I’m in LOVE with my new pussy!
 |
| THIS is love!
Additional update: If you are new here and you haven't run away in terror yet, you may wanna check out part 2 of this post.
Update #2: I WON!!! Thanks to everyone who voted!!! |
So this is me reading this post:
ReplyDelete"New pussy...he's entitled to want it being a man and all"
"Holy shit, he's gutsy posting this while having a girlfriend! What if she reads this?"
"Oh...she's into pussy too? This could be a good score!"
"I am definitely NOT having my husband read this post because then he will want new pussy and expect me to be all into it!!!"
About the time where you were SHARING new pussy, I thought, "That bastard. He is referring to a cat!"
You had me going though and congrats on your new pussy! It is a beautiful pussy!!!
The type of luck you seemed to have changed from assh*le to wholesome. Brilliant hook.
ReplyDeleteI want a new pussy too!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Mandy.
ReplyDelete"it was the sweetest, warmest and fuzziest pussy I have ever had..." is going to haunt my thoughts all day and make me chuckle at awkward moments.
I'll take a weiner (dog) over pussy any day...
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the new addition! It's a beaut!
I don't like to keep any pussy in my house. Some pussy doesn't get along with other pussy and therefore I prefer they just don't know about each other at all. That way I can divide my attention and not feel guilty.
ReplyDeleteAwww, that little kitten is CUTE! It has wide eyes that say "I'm gonna tear your shit up when you're at work."
ReplyDeleteSo far, in the 15 years I've been married, I've gone through at least 17 or 18 pussies. I'm not sure of the exact number; I've lost count. Every one of them has been eaten... by a hungry coyote.
ReplyDeleteOne can never have too many new pussies, we just got a new pussy last month ourselves. The Minions love it!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to say "You go man! Get you some!" That is until the new pussy was revealed! Then I realized, you're a pussy, just like the rest of us men with wives or girlfriends!
ReplyDeleteYou had me going all the way up to seeing the pic. Great post.
ReplyDeleteI figured since you kept saying Pussy, it would end up being a kitty.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I like to be teased just a little more with the pussy. I don't just want it shoved in my face all the time demanding to be seen and petted.
LOL
WG
Its really exciting to see all of these dudes out here. The estrogen levels were a little high - no offense ladies... Psyched about Dude Write!
ReplyDeletePussy. Great minds think alike!! What a co-inky-dink, since, as you know, I thoroughly covered pussy hair yesterday!! You and I are so brilliant that It scares me. ;)
ReplyDeleteNew pussy. Hahaha. You nut.
I am not a pussy man....Although I have to say, that looks like one sweet little pussy you've got there.
ReplyDeleteNew pussy looks cute and nervous at the same time, which is I suppose is appropriate for new pussy.
ReplyDeleteHeheee neat, congrats on the new fuzzy pussy! DudeWrite brought me here by the way - good luck to us all, but mostly to me ;)
ReplyDeleteLol, well, I knew where you were going with it - but it was delightful to imagine you were talking about pussy rather than pussy ;-)
ReplyDeleteFun post!
Dammit. I actually thought pussy meant pussy. Imagine my bitter disappointment at the end when your lady didn't ignore you during the threesome. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat was just mean. I hate you now, and we've only just met.
ReplyDeleteI scrolled ahead and saw the picture of the cat, yet I still laughed my ass off!
ReplyDeleteAs a big fan of pussy, I have nothing to say, but... SQUEEEE!!
ReplyDeleteI always want a new pussy, but I already have too much pussy and have to draw the line somewhere!
ReplyDelete