Post #10 in a 26-part series in the “Blogging from A to Z Blog Challenge.” Today’s letter is “J” -- Enjoy!
jelly (adjective) jealous: feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages.
One thing that I can say about myself is that I am not generally a jealous kinda guy. I don’t care if you have a nice car, a beautiful house or a bunch of money. I have what I have because I earned it and it is on me to better myself, take care of my own responsibilities and accept what I can and cannot have. I am certainly not going to get anywhere sitting around coveting what others have.
However, I have found myself getting increasingly jealous lately and, as much as I hate to admit it, I am finding myself increasingly jealous of...
jelly (adjective) jealous: feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages.
One thing that I can say about myself is that I am not generally a jealous kinda guy. I don’t care if you have a nice car, a beautiful house or a bunch of money. I have what I have because I earned it and it is on me to better myself, take care of my own responsibilities and accept what I can and cannot have. I am certainly not going to get anywhere sitting around coveting what others have.
However, I have found myself getting increasingly jealous lately and, as much as I hate to admit it, I am finding myself increasingly jealous of...
The
Girlfriend.
Now,
I’m not talking about typical couple jealousy. I’m not really put off
by boys showing interest in my girl or my girl showing interest in other
boys (as long as it is strictly on a physical level). I actually get
off on that...
Ew?
Yeah, I’m kinky like that. Y’all know how I roll.
No. It’s nothing like that.
You see, over the course of just two months, The Girlfriend has stopped drinking alcohol, has been working out at the gym, and has been living this incredibly healthy lifestyle. As a result she is the picture of perfect health, both mentally and physically, and she has lost a shitload of weight.
In fact, she looks mother fucking SMOKING hot!
Jesus Six... You should be psyched!
I know right?
I AM psyched... I'm psyched for her, obviously. I’m also super proud of her too... and yeah, I'm psyched for ME as well... I mean, who doesn’t want a smokin hot girlfriend?
I'm still jealous though. I mean... I want her willpower... I wanna be healthier... I wanna lose weight... I wanna look smoking hot!
Can you hear me jumping up and down, crying like a little bitch?
It is ridiculous, I know, because I am jelly of something that is TOTALLY obtainable... But still, instead of getting off my ass and doing something about it... I sit here, envious of my girl.
Even when we text, I can’t hide it!
The Girlfriend: I'm getting very slim.
Six: I know love. I am jelly.
The Girlfriend: I look great.
Six: Whatever.
The Girlfriend: You are super lucky.
Six: I'm eating grapes.
The Girlfriend: Good for you love.
Six: I wish they were cheeseburgers.
The Girlfriend: LOL You so funny!
Six: Why? Cuz I'm fat?
The Girlfriend: OMG NO! Because you're smart and witty.
Six: Whatever. At least I still have my teeth.
The Girlfriend: Um, if I were you I'd go with the hair.
Six: Nice. Kick a guy while he's down.
Sigh
Ew?
Yeah, I’m kinky like that. Y’all know how I roll.
No. It’s nothing like that.
You see, over the course of just two months, The Girlfriend has stopped drinking alcohol, has been working out at the gym, and has been living this incredibly healthy lifestyle. As a result she is the picture of perfect health, both mentally and physically, and she has lost a shitload of weight.
In fact, she looks mother fucking SMOKING hot!
Jesus Six... You should be psyched!
I know right?
I AM psyched... I'm psyched for her, obviously. I’m also super proud of her too... and yeah, I'm psyched for ME as well... I mean, who doesn’t want a smokin hot girlfriend?
I'm still jealous though. I mean... I want her willpower... I wanna be healthier... I wanna lose weight... I wanna look smoking hot!
Can you hear me jumping up and down, crying like a little bitch?
It is ridiculous, I know, because I am jelly of something that is TOTALLY obtainable... But still, instead of getting off my ass and doing something about it... I sit here, envious of my girl.
Even when we text, I can’t hide it!
The Girlfriend: I'm getting very slim.
Six: I know love. I am jelly.
The Girlfriend: I look great.
Six: Whatever.
The Girlfriend: You are super lucky.
Six: I'm eating grapes.
The Girlfriend: Good for you love.
Six: I wish they were cheeseburgers.
The Girlfriend: LOL You so funny!
Six: Why? Cuz I'm fat?
The Girlfriend: OMG NO! Because you're smart and witty.
Six: Whatever. At least I still have my teeth.
The Girlfriend: Um, if I were you I'd go with the hair.
Six: Nice. Kick a guy while he's down.
Sigh
5 comments:
I know how you feel. My best friend is doing the healthy lifestyle thing now, no drinking, no smoking, etc. I snare at him over my cigarette.
Ah, there's the Six I love.
I live that jelly, man.
Heh. If it only weren't for that dratted willpower, we would all be smokin' hot right now. :P
-Barb the French Bean
@Brandy Rose: OMG, don't get me started on the cigarettes. I need to lose weight before I can even begin to think about quitting the smokes.
@The I's Have It: You knew I wouldn't be gone for long.
@The Beans: Ah yes... willpower. What's that again? Welcome, btw.
I'm sitting here at 3:00am smoking a cigarette and eating left over Easter eggs, willpower is not my friend.
Hilarious post! This A-Z Challenge, though slowly eroding my will to live, is turning up some bloody good blogs. Now following.
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