I. Suck.

Post #19 in a 26-part series in the “Blogging from A to Z Blog Challenge,” and, as you may suspect from the title, I’m slightly disappointed with myself because I didn’t really plan for this one, but I have a good excuse. No, I have a few excuses... I mean, I’m writing this at 5 a.m., first of all, which is absurd... not that I am writing at 5 a.m., but that I am awake... and I might still be drunk... whatever. Today’s letter is “S” -- Enjoy!

I swear that I started planning today’s post in my head, which is where most of my posts begin. It’s a pretty fucked up place to be, by the way... my head, that is... but you already know that.

So, I started planning it but then my head got filled up with all this other junk, ya know like stress, worry, anxiety and all of it was work related and, at the end of the day, pointless because although work-week drama seems to be really fucking important to those around me, the truth is? Its all a fucking game played by a bunch of children in grown up bodies. However, although I KNOW that in the end none of it matters and I really, truly don’t give a fuck... the stress of it all really did affect me and by the time I got home Friday afternoon, I was all jacked up, my head felt like it was gonna explode and, quite honestly? I wanted to find someone (preferably one of those grown up children) and punch them in their fucking skull seventeen times.

Whoa Six...

I know, I know... That’s extreme, but trust me, half of my life is spent dealing with some real real fucking assholes and after a while you want to start throwing punches.

So, short of going postal on somebody’s ass, I did what any normal, rational, overworked, stressed-out slave to the man does when he just can’t take it anymore.

I went out and got fucked up.

Yup, I took myself down to my neighborhood bar (which, by the way, is the most awesome, dirtiest, sketchiest, foul-smelling place on this end of the island -- they also offer up a free hero during Friday happy hour, which is a plus) to fucking chase my blues away.

I guess even my “Fuck You Friday” rant wasn’t enough to get the bullshit out of my system and I needed to self medicate a little bit.

It worked. I feel better today and once I send this off into cyberspace I will be fully prepared to tackle the letter “T”. Swear it.

I suck though, because there are so many great words that start with the letter “S” that would make great fodder for a blog post. Some of my favorites include, “sultry”, “sexy”, “slippery”, “sloppy”, “slick”, “slap”, “soiled”, “spank”, “spunk” and “spooge”, to name a few.

Sounds like a script for a hardcore porn movie.

Anywho, this may suspiciously look like a real post, but its not... at least, not to me and I have to cut it short because I have the shits (which is either because I drank too much last night or because the cat poisoned me -- which is a real possibility because he hates me).

Ah, I can’t leave you with that image... so I’ll offer up a couple of new favorite photos from my Pinterest account to hold you over until Monday (and get the image of me on the toilet out of your pretty little head).

kitty love

love kitty

Not following me on Pinterest? Well GET ON IT bitches! And while you're at it? You should give me some good old Facebook love and follow me on Twitter because I do lots of cool stuff when I am not here.