The Big F... You!

Do ever just want to say, “fuck you,” to someone?

I do.

All the time.

I suppose that everyone has at least a short-list of people that they want to say it to, but it seems like I have an exorbitant number of names on my list.

Maybe its just me. Maybe people annoy me more than they annoy others.

It is probably not a good idea to say “fuck you” to anyone, I suppose... but I do it all the time. However, I never say it to the people that truly deserve it and it is usually done in jest. That would include people like The Girlfriend, certain family members, and a few of my close friends. So, I suppose it doesn’t much count.

But there are SO many people that deserve a big fat “fuck you” and every time I am given the opportunity to look them square in the eyes and say it? I chicken out, shake their hand, act as if I am oblivious to what they have done (or are trying to do) to me, and pretend to like them.

Why do I do that?

I’m not sure. I mean, on the one hand, I guess that I would like to avoid conflict. However, since I’m one of those people that, if I hate you or I am pissed at you, I’m going to avoid you at all costs. I guess I just assume that everyone is like that.

For example, if you are saying hello to me at the coffee counter at 7-11... well, maybe you DIDN’T tell my girlfriend, before we started dating, that she shouldn’t trust me because I am a total asshole and a womanizer and I am only gonna hurt her, not because you really believed that, but because you have, in fact, been trying to get into her pants for two years.

I’m sort of naive like that.

And see? The thing is... I’m not talking about the general idiots that deserve a “fuck you” just for being assholes... like the cyclists who prevent me from getting where I need to go on time because they insist on riding in the middle of the road... or the assholes that park in no parking zones putting me at risk every time I pull out of my favorite deli or grocery store. No. I’m talking about the backstabbers... the people that you know who smile or say hello when they see you, but turn around and dick you when you’re not looking.

You know... THOSE people...

So, what’s a guy to do?

Ah... the power of the blog.

I’ve gone crazy in the head trying to find the most cautious way to list, by name, every single asshole that deserves a “fuck you” here and I can’t find it... but y’all know who you are. You might think that I don’t know, but I do... every last one of you.

So here it is:

Fuck. You.

Yeah, I guess it is totally self-serving to publish this and won’t do anything to change the way certain people are... but that’s not my point and not my job. I just needed to get it off my chest and, even if none of you fuckers (which will be my new name for you, collectively) read this (though I know that most of you will and you should really focus your efforts on something more productive)... it is okay because, although I may never say it to your face and though I may never stoop to your level... the truth is?

Karma can be a dirty nasty bitch if you cross her and I know she’s on my side and totally willing to send the message on my behalf.

Now, if YOU have someone you want to say “fuck you” to, feel free to comment here... my space is yours...

And by the way? This may seem like an angry post, but the truth is that it is totally not. I feel better than I have felt in months.... everything is starting to look up...  and I am pretty fucking happy!

That’s why I am finally able to get this off my chest.

Carry on.