I think it is time for me to come clean.
Whoa. This is really hard for me.
I did something really stupid a few months ago.
I got tangled up with this crazy bitch and now I’m kinda stuck with her.
I know… I know… What were you thinking, Six?
I’m not so sure. I was kinda desperate. I mean, my old girl ran out on me at the gas station one night, right into the arms of a mechanic (I hear he is really good with his hands). I just couldn’t afford to give her what she needed. Now I hear she’s moved on again, has shacked up with someone else, and she is feeling like a million bucks.
I was depressed and desperate, so I took the first thing to come along.
What do you want from me? I needed someone who could give me what I needed. The wife has been real busy lately and we are moving in opposite directions, particularly in the morning and just before dinner, when I need it most.
So I swooped in on this old girl, out of sheer desperation. I mean, I wasn’t even attracted to her.
She’s was cheap and boy did she smell, particularly in some of the more hard-to-reach places. She’s a big girl… Not huge, but big… She’s kinda manly, ya know? She has a tattoo of my favorite sports team, but it’s all faded and worn and after a couple of rides, it was clear that I was not the first. Uh-uh, this bitch has been around the block and, I mean, I’m cool with that, but she has got a LOT of miles on her and you can tell -- she’s all bruised up, her headlights are crooked, and her innards hang out.
Now, don’t get me wrong, she gets me where I want to go and I DO have fun with her. She makes a LOT of noise (a quality I like in my girls) and she can go! I mean, you can pump her REALLY hard and she fucking takes it and responds with POWER. But alas, I don’t see her lasting very long... She’s pretty old.
Yet, I am still embarrassed to be seen with her and I don’t even know her name. I don’t want to.
I really have nowhere else to go, though. So, I’m stuck.
She’s a big old mess and she’s all mine, until the next one comes along.