The one where I lie to my kid (for good reason, I swear), and my other kid outs me!

In addition to hating Texas and the New York Yankees, D-man apparently also hates yard sales ("because they don't have any of the toys what are the ones I like"), shopping for clothes, and every single type of food (except chicken nuggets with "white dip-dip" - aka blue cheese dressing, cookies, fudge brownies, and "Biggley Chew" gum - aka Big League Chew).

I know, I know... 


Everyone says, "It's just his age" or, "Perhaps it's a phase... It will pass."

"What are we having for breakfast dad," Lu-Dog asked.

"Bagels with cream cheese...

                                       But, not just ANY bagels... 

                                                                 Cinnamon. Raisin. Bagels."

His eyes widened.

                                      "...and not just ANY cream cheese...

                                                                  ...STRAWBERRY cream cheese."

"YES," he exclaimed.

D-Man called out from the other room. 

"I HATE Strawberries."

Fuck.

Week In Review #15: The one about Superchunk, badass contests, and cutting out hate.

As you read this, I’m probably planning my upcoming birthday weekend.

I know, I know... My birthday isn’t until September 29th, but when something this good comes along, you’ve gotta get on it right away, ya know?

Since the show is actually the night BEFORE my birthday, we will definitely be doing an overnight. I plan I drinking lots of beer before and during the show, and quite possibly stage-diving into my birthday.

“I am TOTALLY going to stage-dive,” I said to The Girlfriend as I watched old Superchunk concert footage on YouTube.

She shot me that look. You know, the one that’s all like... “Dude, you’re almost 40 and you can barely mow the lawn without pulling something...”

“You’re not gonna let me stage-dive?”

No answer.

“If I lose 15 pounds, can I stage dive?”

“Deal.”

The weekend will be a nice birthday to myself, but it’s not the only gift I’m giving to myself. I also bought a pair of tickets to see David Sedaris at Carnegie Hall in November. I’m SUPER psyched for that as well because, obviously, David Sedaris is one of my idols, right up there with Jenny Lawson and Ron Jeremy. I have a lot to look forward to... but let’s get back to the present.

It’s Friday y’all, and that can mean only one thing... 

It is DEFINITELY a sign... I'm sure of it!

You can blame these people...

The message came across on my phone during a morning smoke break. It happens, like, every two minutes (the messages, not the smoke breaks, contrary to popular belief).

I’m on so many fucking email lists and half of the shit that comes across my screen is garbage. I keep telling myself that I'm gonna unsubscribe from most of them, but every so often I get a notification that I find valuable.

Songkick.

I didn’t even know what it was or how it knew me...

But, apparently? It KNOWS me.

It knows that when I receive an email with the subject line, “New Concerts for Superchunk,” that my heart will skip a beat.

It knows that when I open it and see that one of my all-time favorite 90s bands is playing in Manhattan, that a little chubby is gonna grow inside my jeans.

It knows that when I realize that the show is the night before my motherfucking BIRTHDAY?

I will totally cream in my pants.

Wordless Wednesday #16: Submission Edition #1

"This should be next Wednesday's photo" - The Girlfriend.

And so it is...

Cleaning (for) the Soul

I like the things around me to be clean.

Scratch that, maybe “organized” is a better word.

I’m a guy, so a little pee on the potty and some crusted paste in the sink doesn’t bother me. Living with The Girlfriend, however, has forced me to clean up my act.

We strike a nice balance though… While she can’t tolerate anything less than spotless; I get freaked out by a closet with a mile-high pile of clothing. As a result, I’ve been paying a lot more attention to “cleaning” and The Girlfriend is actually “letting go” of some old clothes.

Seriously, chicks have a hard time letting go of old clothes. 

FRIDAY UPDATE: A Day in the Life - IKEA Kura edition

Apologies for not knowing who I stole the idea from, but I noticed a couple of bloggers doing these "Day in the Life" posts where they take photos throughout their day, in intervals, giving you a snapshot of their day. 

I have been thinking a lot about doing that on a regular basis, but I haven't really fully grasped the parameters that I want to create... So, I'm working on that.

In the meantime, remember when I was all like, FUCK I have to put a fucking IKEA bed together, fuck the Swedes, even if they ARE hot?

Yeah, well it wasn't so bad...

Week in Review: #14: IKEA Furniture SUCKS

I didn’t go into work yesterday.

I took the day off, partially because I was expecting a delivery of IKEA bunk beds and, partially because I haven’t had a full day off in REALLY long time.

Plus, I know myself…

Even though I promised that I wasn’t going to set up the boys’ new room until Sunday, I knew I would be too excited to wait and I would stay up all night dealing with it. 

So, I spent all day moving furniture, toys and stuffed animals from the boys’ room, cleaning, putting together twelve cubbies, and waiting for the arrival of IKEA bunk beds, which didn't arrive until 9 p.m.

Yup, I had to take today off too. 

So, while I try to finish this project before my kids enter college, why don’t you guys check out The Six-Fingered Monkey’s Week in Review?